And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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