Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
