Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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