Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize