She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
