Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
