it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
