I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
