just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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