You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
