when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You work out of a Hotel?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
