i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
