I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Fuck appropriateness.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sext me about skeletons
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
