All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
its liver damage thursday
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
