Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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