My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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