Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
