I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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