He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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