I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
