ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
