I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
