in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
