very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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