We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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