it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
