Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
they're like a gay fantastic four
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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