I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
