I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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