So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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