Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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