got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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