I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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