discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
