Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize