I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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