Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
