I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
