sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
only you would photoshop your dick
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
