I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You may now shotgun with the bride
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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