Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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