mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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