I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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