you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize