ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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