Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so explain again why im purple
no
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
