Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're using joints as your birthday candles
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
