I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
