That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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