he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
