Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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