Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
zippers are such a cool invention
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
