dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
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