We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
