Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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