Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
