For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
