party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
