If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i think my cat just said my name.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
