At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
