you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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