Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
