yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
