That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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