Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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