But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
