break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I believe in your delicious
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
