Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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