i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize