i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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