We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
