Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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